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Clark paused on his way down the stairs, jolted for a moment at the sight of his daughter’s shiny bald head. No matter how many times he’d seen her the past few days, it still shocked him speechless when he laid eyes on her shaved scalp. He knew not to believe she was emulating Lex, especially not with the LuthorCorp logo tattooed on her cheek.
He shifted his gaze from the discombobulating sight and sighed irritably when he saw their visitor. Wally leaned casually against the doorjamb of the living room at the bottom, flirting obviously with PJ with an occasionally leering smile. PJ clasped her hands behind her, thrusting out her barely existent (thank God) breasts. Clark was going to have to smack Wally hard for looking.
Continuing downstairs, out of the corner of his eye he caught sight of Sam hovering in a doorway further up the hall. Sam appeared as if he were gearing up to storm the castle, an expression he got when he was fighting insecurity, usually when it came to approaching guys…
Clark’s nearly stumbled down the steps and his head whipped back and forth as he followed Sam’s line of sight. Sam was looking at Wally. Sam was looking at Wally.
Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no.
Clark barreled the rest of the way down the stairs, grabbed Wally by the neck, and dragged him out the front door. Wally gurgled and kicked his dangling feet.
“Dad!” PJ exclaimed. “What are you—”
Clark slammed the door, cutting her off, and dropped Wally on the front steps. He aimed a finger at Wally. “Keep your hormones away from my children.”
Wally rubbed his neck with a wince. “It was just harmless flirting. Peej knows I’m not being serious.”
“But Sam wouldn’t.” Clark glowered at Wally. “He’d think you were interested in him.”
“Gross.” Wally took a step back, holding up his hands at the acidic glare he received. “Not that being gay is gross. Gay is good. I have a PFLAG button. But I’m straight.”
“Then take your ass off my doorstep and go find some straight people your own age to flirt with.” Clark jabbed his finger against Wally’s chest. “My children are. Off. Limits.”
“Okay, okay. Bruised point taken.”
Clark scowled, went inside, and slammed the door again. He immediately reopened it and growled at Wally, “And stay away from my partner, too!”
The windowpanes rattled as he slammed the door once more. He folded his arms and leveled a parental glare at PJ. “You’re supposed to be grounded. Get to your room.”
PJ rolled her eyes and stomped up the stairs. The ankle monitor clacked against the decorative steel on her boot.
Clark’s glare shifted and pinpointed Sam. “And you. There are thousands of guys out there who don’t have a Shaggin’ Wagon or call themselves the Ho Herder. Date one of them.”
Sam stared, mouth agape. Clark stalked past him to the end of the hall and into the kitchen. Lex was coming into the door from the garage, briefcase in hand, with his suit slightly rumpled and his tie loosened around his neck. He saw Clark and his shoulders slumped. “Now what did she do—mmnnph.”
Clark kissed Lex hard, holding him pinioned in his arms, the briefcase caught between them. Lex stumbled when he was released, gasping for breath. “Clark, what—?”
“Wally West,” Clark answered succinctly, grinding his teeth.
“Ah.” Understanding crossed Lex’s features. Then, his eyes narrowed. “He didn’t come onto you, did he?”
“No, but he’s sucked both PJ and Sam in with his evil horny vibes.” Clark stomped over to the refrigerator, grabbed the milk, and guzzled half from the container. He capped the milk again and stuck it back in the fridge. “He needs to be neutered.”
“I can arrange for a little accident.”
Clark lit up with hope. “Really?”
“Just tell me the time and place.” Lex dropped his briefcase on the counter and stepped into Clark’s personal space. He pressed against Clark, sliding his hand behind Clark’s neck. Clark could feel Lex’s burgeoning erection rub against his thigh. “I’d be happy to oblige.”
“Is that because of me, or because we’re plotting to do bad things?” Clark said, slipping his arms around Lex’s back.
“Depends on which will get me into your pants faster.”
“Hnm.” Clark bent his head and kissed Lex again before whisking him upstairs behind a locked bedroom door.
He sent Wally a thank you card the next day.
(It didn’t blow up.)
-End
FFL Timeline Updated
-DL-
*giggle*
This was perfect
*snicker*
annakas
(It didn’t blow up.)
Poor Wally. He doesn't know how close he came to losing the family jewels!
*snicker*
Sams are MUCH too good for Wallies. Wallies are very hot, yes, but Sams are SUPER SPECIAL.
*giggling uncontrollably*
Totally great, protective!Clark is so adorable. ^_________^
*snortles* U-huh. *nods* That is so very Wally, it's eery.
There are thousands of guys out there who don’t have a Shaggin’ Wagon or call themselves the Ho Herder. Date one of them.
*snickers* How very DAD of Clark... :)
I really don't know how you do it - you make them adorable and endlessly funny AND sexy at the same time. And your writing seems to flow so effortlessly (is that even a word? See, I am already struggling with my comments!!! *headdesk*)... anyway. Your writing is gorgeous as ever. *hugs*
Thank you!
And your muse probably wants you to write a full length FFL novel, just like the rest of us. *g*
This bit is actually from the original sequel to the main story. The original sequel started with PJ getting arrested and her bald head, includes this, and included the fight-arc between Clark and Lex where Lex called Clark a whore (though not the part where they patch up at the therapist office). I think I like it better in bits, though. Gives it more of a lifetime feel than a singluar piece of history.
I have yet to find a ficverse that is as well done as this!
PJ? Just trying to push that envelope just that much farther. Wally's a safe choice - soon as it gets past FlirtLite, bang, zoom, sonic boom and temptation is in another time zone. Plus 14 is a curious age.
::fan-girls you all over again! Best fic-verse evah!::
And PJ knows Wally's just flirting and she's honing up on her skilz before she destroys all the boys ;)