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“I’ve changed my mind. Let’s do something fun. I hear Suicide Slums is lovely this time of night.”
“Your parents are expecting us.”
“My parents are insane.”
“Sam—”
“Drew—”
“You’re being melodramatic.”
“I’m being truthful.”
“They can’t be that bad.”
“They seem normal on the outside, but they’re really Spanish Inquisitors in disguise.”
“Not the comfy chair!”
“I’m serious. The last time I brought someone he home excused himself to use the bathroom and I never saw him again.”
“And exactly how many other men have you brought home to meet the folks?”
“One. Ten years ago. It was a disaster, just like tonight will be.”
“Sam, I’ll be okay. I promise. I coach pms-ing girls for a living. I can handle whatever your parents throw at me.”
“Just… always tell the truth, because Papa Lex will have done a background check on you and won’t ask questions he doesn’t know the answer to already. And if he says to call him Lex, call him Lex or he’ll think you’re sucking up. But if Dad says to call him Clark, call him Mr. Kent, because it’s a sign of respect for your elders.”
“What if it’s Lex who says to call Clark by his first name?”
“Stop smiling like I’m a cute puppy and listen. Papa Lex will, at some point, try to pay you to go away.”
“Now that’s just not on.”
“You’d be surprised at how many of PJ's suitors took the money and left. Then again, it’s PJ. I’d run without being paid if I could.”
“I’m gonna tell her you said that.”
“You won’t if you value our sex life.”
“Good point. Any other warnings you’d like to give before we beard the lions in their den?”
“It’s not too late to leave.”
“It was too late the moment you threw pasta on my favorite shirt.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“I guess we should go in.”
“Yeah.”
“Okay. But one more thing: if my Dad brings out apple pie for dessert, I’ll say something about PJ to distract them while you run for the car.”
“Apple pie.”
“The wholesomeness is a trick to get your guard down. Trust me and run.”
“All right, but I’m taking you with me.”
“I hope you always do.”
End
FFL Timeline Updated
“I’m serious. The last time I brought someone home excused himself to use the bathroom and I never saw him again.”
There is a typo: ...I brought someone home, he excused...
And does End mean end of this part or completely the end??
and fixed!
*goes off to read*
*pets Sam*
I was so looking for this yesterday, and imagine my delight when I see this when I arrive at work today. *big happy smile*
Haw!
They are so adorable!!!
*snorfle* Oh, God, I can so imagine Lionel saying this. Run, Drew, run!
and OMG your icon *ded from laughing* I have tears!
Brilliant.
I adore this universe.
I just noticed your Sam and Drew icon--did you pick Sawyer to play Drew? It looks like him.
“Now that’s just not on.”
“You’d be surprised at how many of PJs suitors took the money and left. Then again, it’s PJ. I’d run without being paid if I could.”
“I’m gonna tell her you said that.”
“You won’t if you value our sex life.”
Thank you. My brain has *exploded* from the sheer hilarious *genius* of this part (and man, that's gonna leave a stain...).
::fan-girls you and the fics just bunches and bunches::
PS: doesn't 'PJs' need an apostrophe there as in 'PJ's'?
I'd love to read how Drew finds out/is told about Sam's powers sometime...
“Apple pie.”
“The wholesomeness is a trick to get your guard down. Trust me and run.”
Heh! I thought Sam wanted to spare Drew from eating bad pie.
They're just too cute! I have to read the previous ficlets now.
and “You’d be surprised at how many of PJ's suitors took the money and left. Then again, it’s PJ. I’d run without being paid if I could.”
LOL!
Best line: “The wholesomeness is a trick to get your guard down. Trust me and run.”
This snippet made me smile so much, very fun to read, thank you.